SECRET REVEALED…

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newton-website

AND THE SURPRISE SECRET IS…
PLEASE SHARE with those you know who are teachers, principals, school administrators, PTO members, parents & pretty much EVERYBODY who was born. You’d be doing my family and me a HUGE service as I launch this business!
I’M BACK! Don’t call it a come back! You can take the man out of the suit, but you can’t take the suit out of the man. AND any other clichés that fit…
BUILDING TOMORROW TODAY
INTRODUCING NEWTON THE DRAGON, HOUSTON’S SMARTEST DRAGON (Houston’s only dragon too, but please don’t tell him that), a clumsy, zany book worm, who magically inspires Houston area youth to a brighter future through imagination and education. Newton mystically conjures up and awakens both creativity & a love for facts and figures. He is the perfect left brain right brain one two punch! 26 year veteran mascot performer Robert Boudwin (me) has created & is solely portraying this character after 21 years of performing in front of 1.2 million Houston students spanning his career as Houston Rocket’s mascot, Clutch the Bear, a character he also created in 1995. Brand new show with all new surprises, re-writing the rules of mascoting, but with the same unique brand of EDUTAINMENT you know and love!
NEWTON WILL BE BORN THIS APRIL 1ST, BUT HE IS NO FOOL! BOOK your STAAR, Reading, and Red Ribbon shows for this year and next year NOW (available as of 4/1/17) BY CALLING OR EMAILING @ 832-541-3865 robert@robertboudwin.com
PASSION FOR HOUSTON’S FUTURE THE BEST WAY POSSIBLE, OUR KIDS!
Dragon my heels, but got to FLY,
-Robert “Father Of Dragon”

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WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING…

“Robert continues to set high standards for mascots. The City of Houston is pleased to offer its endorsement of Robert for his invaluable contributions to Houston communities for over two decades. It is with great pride that I offer mine as well.”

-Houston Mayor Sylvester Turner–2016

“For the past 16 years Robert has brought laughter and fun into the lives of Houstonians and visitors–the young and the old and the in-between.”

-Former Houston Mayor Annise Parker–2011

“He has visited elementary schools and put on over 80 shows per year encouraging Houston students to set high goals for their future.”

-Former Houston Mayor Bill White–2006

“My friend Robert Boudwin has created something special like only he can. Looking for an entertaining and educational option for Houston school assemblies? Search no more!”

-Jerry Burrell-Houston Rockets ONLY Turbo (1991-2003) & Team Acrodunk & High Impact Squad Owner-2017

“I would not only trust Robert with my life, I would trust him with my children’s lives so he is going to educate and inspire your children just like he has done for over 1 million others better than anyone in the business. As a performer, I’d hire him to show up wearing anything. He is that good. He could wear a paper bag and still be entertaining and put on the best children’s show ever!”

-David Raymond – Original Philadelphia Phillie Pahantic-2017

“I have been performing all over the country as a professional mascot for 20 years now and have seen them all. Robert is simply the best at creating school shows that educate and excite his audiences! He entertains and inspires like no other!”

-Christopher Bruce – Mascot Hall of Fame Spokes Character Reggie & Owner of Bruce Productions

“Kolter loved Robert’s visit! The teachers and students alike were cheering and laughing as he honed in on very important reminders about academic success and respect!”

-Principal Stewart – Kolter Elementary – Houston ISD

“Education and entertainment blended at it’s best!”

-Principal Brown – Drabek Elementary – Fort Bend ISD

“We all thoroughly enjoyed it! The teachers were just as entertained as the students!”

-Principal Sparks – Richey Elementary – Pasadena ISD

“Educating, Inspiring, Entertaining, Motivating and Exciting! What more could you ask for?”

-Principal Ford – Burton Elementary – Fort Bend ISD

“Robert educates and entertains. It is the perfect one two punch. Your students will be knocked out!”

-Principal Bazan – Janowski Elementary – Houston ISD

-One Part Tony Robbins, One part Muppets, One part Charlie Chaplin & 100 % AWESOME!

-Principal Deyoe – Creekside Forest Elementary – Tomball ISD

“Robert thought of everything when it came to exciting and inspiring our students.”

-Principal Travis – Normandy Crossing Elementary – Galena Park ISD

“Robert’s show both entertains and educates better than any program I’ve seen.”

-Principal Hoyt – Hambrick Middle – Aldine ISD

“This program really helps focus and inspire our students.”

-Principal Davis – Milam Elementary – Conroe ISD

“Worth every penny and then some!”

-Principal Rios – Burbank Elementary – Houston ISD

“We looked forward to Robert’s show every year!”

-Principal Martinez – Crespo Elementary – Houston ISD

“Best program we’ve ever had!”

-Principal Godwin – Holleman Elementary – Waller ISD

“If you think you know what a mascot does, think again!”

-Principal Montgomery – Liestman Elementary – Alief ISD

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KRIV Houston’s FOX 26 Morning News with Robert Boudwin 2-24-17 Talking MASCOTU/MFAC, Organ Donation Billboard Campaign & First Rodeo Pins

On KRIV Houston’s Fox 26 last Friday talking MASCOTU & Mascots for a Cure (largest Mascot gathering EVER with an expected 150+ mascots topping last year’s gathering in Philadelphia of 124 and the almost upsetting Guinness World Record for largest mascot dance of 134 set in Tokyo, Japan in 2013) happening 6/23-6/25 in Houston at the Queensbury Theatre all benefitting children fighting cancer nationally and the Sunshine Kids locally. Visit thedeadmascot.com for your VIP Breakfast with the Characters or Mascot Mayhem show tickets both OPEN TO THE PUBLIC or mascot performers can register to attend MASCOTU there as well.
Also talking organ donation billboards and emotionally moving and inspirational stories of selflessness.
And finally FIRST RODEO PINS that are on sale NOW as the perfect professionally, but humorous and subtle, but clever memerable ice break for anyone at any age or position who is start a new job or role in a professional setting. Available at firstrodeopins.com for sale. Portion of proceeds from sale of ALL items on my site goes to charity for organ donation registration awareness.
VISIT robertboudiwn.com for all the details to sign up as a mascot performer to attend MascotU, as a patron to get your tickets to the Mascot VIP Breakfast with the Characters or Mascot Mayhem Sketch Show both OPEN TO THE PUBLIC, for to see all the relevant details about The Todd Krampitz Foundation’s & LifeGift joint billboard campaign to get everyone to say YES to organ donation registration! Thanks!!!

HOW DO YOU GET FROM GOOD TO GREAT? BY REQUEST & IT ISN’T SHORT!

GOOD TO GREAT

by robert boudwin

(all lower case name is definitely an expression of false modesty)

NOT FOR THE CONVICTIONLESS

THINKING ABOUT BOLD FACING, UNDERLINING & CAPITALIZING EVERYTING TO STRESS THE IMPORTANCE OF PASSION;)

 

The life you lead or the life you live?  It might sound like semantics to some.  I say those who say that are simple and are living without purpose or intention.  To live a life is to let it happen to you in a passive way.  Use whichever cliché you like here.  Fate is that which you make or even there is no such thing as fate.  Fate or destiny is a factious manifestation of lack of personal accountability.  Does this mean that bad things don’t happen to smart, well-intentioned “good” people?  The answer is no!  BAD unexplainable stuff happens to most.  “In every life a little rain must fall.”  However, Thomas Jefferson’s quote also holds true here, “The harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.”

 

Why am I asking you and myself this question here and now?  Well, I was asked by a respected long-term colleague to define, in my “humble” opinion (the wise guy), what takes someone from good to great.  No, I did not take it upon myself to dub myself “GREAT” and write this paper.  He asked me and I assume he feels I know something about the subject.  I had what I thought at the time was an easy knee jerk reaction and answer.  (Yes, I tend to double describe.  The worst writers do.) I quickly told him that there was a book called GOOD TO GREAT (which I haven’t read yet despite owning 3 copies) and he should read it instead of bothering me for free and that I had five kids to feed and this was what I get paid to help people with now.  He did not accept that answer.  My quick answer was and I quote myself, which is my favorite thing to do, “passion first, then work ethic, then perseverance, then relationship building.”  Good is just talented without passion and work ethic, in which case you should take your passion and work ethic elsewhere because we are ALL talented at something.  Great is talented plus passion and work ethic.

 

I have since rethought my answer.  PASSION is the only answer under your immediate control and work ethic is merely a expression of passion.  A preacher friend of mine (real preacher and not just a nagging friend) once told me I was the most passionate person he knew (knew I’d get to make this about myself at some point when I started writing even though I didn’t know how at the time), but that I didn’t know what the true definition of passion was.  He schooled me properly.  Passion by definition was to care so much about something that you were willing to suffer for it and did.  I don’t have any clear talent that I can point to.  I think that most artists truly feel this way deep down…except for the real artist that can paint…I mean they can PAINT!  If you can’t sense my humor or detect my sarcastic irony then you should have stopped reading a long time ago.  Sorry for wasting your time.  I refuse to use quotes, parenthesis & God forbid emojies (or however it is spelled because I am too “efficient” to spend the money on a word processing program produced after 2008) 😉  <<Guess that one existed when I was 32 and finally sprung for my first computer.  Getting back to the point, I couldn’t really flip, tumble, or perform any gymnastics and still can’t, though that never stopped me because I figured I could do it off a diving board.  When I was a mascot in high school, with no training or mat, I would actually do a dead sprint and attempt what I later found out was called a PUNCH FRONT.  I did a punch front ¾ and landed on my ass each time for the first ten years of my career.  I have arthritis now to show for that in my lower tail-bone area, or clinically the coccyx.  Things got easier when I started doing it on a basketball court instead of a football field.  SLIDING…  I had NO costume experience.  I had never been Barney, or Goofy or whatever the hell else existed back then.  I had no aspirations to become a mascot.  I did, however, hate watching sports, but liked going to Philly games so I could try to spot the big green guy with the cool tongue.  I said yes to the captain of the cheerleading team in high school when she asked me at the beginning of my senior year to be the Trojan because I wanted to “date” her.  It worked out.  We didn’t.  However, here I am 26 years later regarded as someone to ask the question at to how to get from good to great because of my perceived success as a mascot, which began as the answer to that question.  Will you be our mascot?  YES, was the answer!

 

So, there was NO talent.  There was NO experience.  There was NO knowledge.  There was not no nothing, because that would be a triple negative meaning something.  There was (not going to say unbridled because I have heard it too many times and don’t really know exactly that word’s origins and what it truly means) an almost rage like zest to achieve and to MAKE PEOPLE LAUGH.  That desire was potent.  When I achieved laughs, it made me feel euphoric and powerful.  I’m not sure about you, YES I AM, but that is something I want to chase and invest in, or should I say, in which to invest so as to not end the sentence in a preposition which I never understood.  Making people laugh helps them, but more importantly and more honestly, makes me feel good.  To speak this truth publicly to the tens of people reading, (thanks for telling Dad about it Mom), makes me feel vulnerable.  This is just the truth as I know it based upon my own existence and experiences.  The rest is wrong;) Sorry, had to do it there.  If you fashion yourself a creative type and also don’t take criticism personally, I’d like to meet you.  I once heard a senior management personnel say that he/she didn’t meet anyone who “liked” to be managed.  It was then that I decided to answer every doctor who asked me upon a check-up, “Are you allergic to anything?”…”Just Management.”  I understand some of you might have had amazing managers who crafted themselves as partners and not bosses.  I never met a boss I didn’t like.

 

Work ethic is one way of measuring passion.  Passion without work ethic is just wishing hard or worse yet whining hard.  With the absence of action there is no real passion.  When I first started as an NBA mascot l was absolutely positioned as a secondary character to the team’s already established and hugely popular mascot Turbo (still a very close and dear friend after working in tandem for what turned out to be 8!years together until he retired) who was an amazing acrobatic, daredevil, stunt man of sorts real life superhero.  I was a teddy bear in Texas for a team named the Rockets.  It would be an issue understatement to say that I was not received well by the fan base and media and that they “didn’t get it.”  Huh, come to think of it, I’m not sure I “got it” then either.  What I did get though was a strong belief in my abilities, commitment to my craft and willingness to work hard and long to achieve what I KNEW I would.  I like to call this “good stubbornness”.  Leave it to an Irishman to made a good version of that word.  How did I win the Houston audience over?  By not forcing things too quickly, buckling down, and earning it one laugh at a time and one person at a time.  In this case it was by working the concourse from doors open at 6pm until doors close at about 11pm with as few breaks that were as short as possible.  I didn’t even set foot inside of the “bowl” until half way through my first season which is 20 of 41 home games.  The next 10 home games I didn’t set foot on court and only worked the concourse and stands.  Not until 30 games into the first season (3/4 of the way through for those of you who are mathematically challenged) did I set foot on court and that it was to just hold the ball for Turbo as he dunked over me and the. Throw some T-Shirts out.  It would not be until my second season that I even attempted an on court featured skit.  For those of you who have never been in a mascot costume, and I think that is most of you unless I have a completely distorted view of reality, 5 hour crowd work in a concourse environment or appearances is grueling physically and mentally.  It is hard to maintain compete focus and be lost in the moment performing for 5 straight hours and also challenging to not be repetitive for both the audience’s and your own engagement.  However I did it.  No one told me to do that for that long or at such an intense level, but I did it.  I believe that work ethic lead to Clutch’s success.  When I did my first skit on court, it KILLED & went over great because that audience was ready to support whatever I did arm free earning it from them for the last year.  At the height of my career some games I was doing up to 4 featured skits per game and apart of 4 more on count contest or promotions.

 

The one thing we haven’t discussed, or in this case me orating about, is courage, bravery, or plain old BALLS.  Do you have them?  Make no mistake here.  I am not advocating for haymakers or unrestrained ambition.  Here that again Millenials (<<think it is spelled correctly, but not sure with this 08’ set up)!  Oh gosh, I sound like an old person.  NO ONE can do it alone.  If you can, you have not set your sights high enough.  Relationships are key to success if not for any other reason than that of division of labor and specialties.  I need my wife to design and play IT director for just about everything that is not copy and paste.  Now she is incriminated in this.  Relationships are what make life rich and give it value.  Wins that are shared alone are lonely.  I don’t like being alone.  Do you?  If you answered yes to that last question, please email me a request for a refund for the last ten minutes of your life.  If you think you are owed more, you are stupid or at the least read very slowly.  Even solo athletes share their victories with their trainers.  BUILD RELATIONSHIPS!  MAKE COMPROMISES!  SHARE IN OTHERS VISIONS & VICTORIES!  However, maintaining your quest is up to just you.  Staying on that path takes solo perseverance.  Should you not listen to others?  Is that what having “balls” means?  At times, YES!  Those of us who are the most creative will struggle with this balance the most.

 

Do you want to be great?  REALLY?  There is a cost.  At the very least it is called opportunity cost in accounting.  That phrase “opportunity cost” along with “good will” always struck me as something “accounting teachers” in high school & “business professors” alike in college always seemed to glaze right over.  There ALWAYS is cost, especially if you had the misfortune of being an accounting major with a philosophy minor, turning to a marketing & management major, ultimately wearing a teddy bear costume in Texas.  Believe me.  I heard the story once.  At one of the places I worked, there was a custom poster on the wall that read something to the effect that winning was an abnormal thing, and so to do so we had to do abnormal things.  I believe that.  IF YOU WANT TO BE GREAT, YOU MUST BE BY DEFINITION ABNORMAL.  Being “abnormal” comes with quite a bit of challenges and difficulties, and at times, outright pain.  You must be willing to make those sacrifices in exchange for a chance at greatness.  It is often said that balance is the key to life and happiness.  I would add that imbalance is the key to greatness.  Constant innovation and searching for the “next thing” to keep yourself relevant to the masses and also personally engaged is definitely part of the equation that flows from being a student of one’s craft.  However, being an innovator is often hard because innovation and by the transitive property you as the innovator are inherently counter culture.  People do not like change.  It moves them out of their comfort zone.  People do not like risk because it also makes them uncomfortable and worry.  These are necessary risks and not gambles.  Risk being things that are done calculatedly with a greater degree of likely-hood for success than the simple flip of a coin or other random chance examples.   Most people will often defer to what is safe and want to play it safe and just do what they have done in the past because they saw that it worked before.  Playing it safe in the long run is actually the riskiest thing you can do because you become stale and complacent and don’t realize it until everyone has left you behind and you are outdated.  Being great is always accompanied by being an innovator.  You must have a tolerance for being known as a disruptor, as that is essentially what innovators are.  You will get labeled by some as hard to work with, hard to manage, stubborn, uncompromising, difficult, hard headed, relentless, someone who doesn’t know how to pick their battles, and even down right unlikeable in extreme cases.  I like to look at the glass half full here and consider all those “labels” for their positive attributes which are persistent, committed, driven with a clear vision, independent, individualistic, dedicated, and perseverant.  TO BE GREAT YOU MUST BE RELENTLESS!  After seeing an episode of the ABC hit show SCANDAL, an old friend and colleague once called me extremely excited to tell me much to my dismay that he had me figured out.  The key character in the show had said, “Some people aren’t meant to be happy.  They are meant to be great.”  I told him, “GREAT!  I’m neither.  Want to grab a beer at Kenneally’s?”

 

With all that said, you must also be realistic and set realistic obtainable and tangible goals.  What defines great?  Usually, benchmarking and comparison to others, or at least comparison to yourself yesterday in the short run, leads to a superior product or service in the long run.  Don’t forget “great” is inherently a comparative word.  Where some are great, others are just good, while others just mediocre and others are still just bad.  When setting goals, define what they are with metrics and keep yourself honest by writing them down and checking on your progress and self manage.  The most important promises are the ones you make to yourself.  Keep them!  I was once told by a superior when I was feeling overly scrutinized and demoralized that he believed we should all aim and shoot for perfection so we could achieve greatness.  I disagree.  Perfection does not exist in mankind by definition.  If you are constantly striving for the unobtainable, then you will always feel like you fell short and never satisfied.  Satisfied is not a bad word.  It is what we should be working for.  It does not mean you are going to rest on your laurels and become complacent, and not strive for further innovation.  Strive for greatness.  Achieve greatness.  Enjoy those moments.  Be satisfied with your achievement.  Congratulate yourself.  You can do this without hubris or arrogance.  Then repeat.  Do not pick apart your great achievement in a maddening never-ending quest for perfection.  Perfection does not exist.  It is a man made concept.  In his famous “Man In The Arena” speech made in Paris, France on April 23, 1910, Theodore Roosevelt said, “there is no effort without error and shortcomings”.   Truer words could never have been spoken.  Don’t strive to be perfect.  You will consistently disappoint yourself and burn yourself out.  If you are in a situation where perfection is expected, you will fail.  Anyone would in a situation like that.  Get out and find a new vehicle for your passion.

 

There is another key component to being a great mascot or at anything in life if you work for someone and we ALL work for someone else even if we own our own business.  If you own your own business, it just means that you have many bosses instead of just one.  They are called customers.  The other key component to being great at anything is the permission you need to seek to be great.  You must be allowed to be in the moment and take in a multitude of information you are receiving in real time and then be empowered to make decisions and act.  I was recently discussing this with a good friend and long term peer, Christopher Bruce who portrays Reggie the Purple Party Dude, and he put it as, “First thing I tell less experienced performers is that there are two rules to mascoting.  First, don’t suck, and second, have fun!”  The point is to not over produce, over manage, over control or over plan what you are going to do so that it becomes so mechanical, robotic, scripted and rehearsed that the magic, life, humanity, and authenticity has been bled out of a performance.  People are not puppets, and performers especially have to be allowed to make individual choices and expressions of material to bring it to life for an audience, especially with improvisational performers.  They cannot be boxed in to simply pulling from an “approved” list of reactions or antics.  They must be permitted to get lost in the moment in order for greatness to be a result.  This takes trust and faith to be extended to the performer, worker or employee and a discipline on management’s part to not over react when one-off issues or complaints arise, or even when mistakes are made.  An over riding principle of only commenting on pattern behavior and not one-off ZAPS must prevail in the culture or relationship in order for something to be “allowed” and PERMITTED to be great.  A deal is made between employee and employer or owner and customer base.  You bring the passion and I bring the permission!  Trust and faith flow from that.  It is called a healthy relationship where both parties are getting what they want and need from it.  The Prime Minister character, played by Hugh Grant in the movie Love Actually, puts it well when he is addressing the media and the President of the United States of America after a meeting that didn’t go well when he said, “I love that word relationship.  It covers all matter of sins.  I fear this has become a bad relationship.  One where the President take whatever he wants and casually ignores all the wants of Great Britain.”  I am paraphrasing here from memory.  I have only seen the movie 83 times so if I am not accurate, I am in real trouble.  What managers who over manage fail to realize in the moment is that by trying to overly influence a desired outcome, they actually work against themselves by breaking the systems and humans they already have in place to effect that outcome.  Make sure your relationship is a GOOD ONE!  Profit cannot be the only goal in business.  If it is, the business will fail in the long run.  Profit is about taking.   There must also be a component of giving beyond the obvious service or product provided.

 

All the people I know who are actually great at their craft answer the live to work or work to live question the same way.  They also answer the what do you do for business and what do you do for pleasure questions the same way.  They say that they live to work and that their business is their pleasure.  These people feel and believe with all their heart that if you love what you do, you will never work a day in your life.  These Beliefs are ALL ABOUT passion for one’s work.  These people have a high degree of urgency towards their work and an attitude internally at least of little patience.  Disincline comes into play when controlling how you communicate this internal urgency with others so as to maintain relationships still valuable with others who might not match your passion.  People ask me all the time upon meeting me and finding out I have been in the mascot business for 26 years now, how much does a professional mascot make? I give them the same answer every time. I don’t know. I honestly don’t know. It all depends. I’ve heard some full time gross compensation packages as low as $20k even after being in the business for a while. I’ve also heard some as high as $300k, and everywhere in between.  Why such a pronounced spread?  I believe the answer is varying levels of passion that manifests itself in persistence, commitment, dedication, and perseverance over the long run.

 

To wrap up this little “short” answer, to a simple question…PASSION conquers ALL in the long run.  I guess that is my talent.  How do you take GOOD TO GREAT = PASSION…easy to explain (not really Miguel, took me 4 hours to write this)…harder to understand…and hardest to DO!  Get to work you lazy bums and stop being afraid to argue and curse.  I trust people MUCH MORE who do both.

 

AUTHENTICALLY,

 

ROBERT

 

As a post-script (P.S. for you dummies) I will leave you with my high school senior quote, “Confidence is the key to success.  Arrogance is the gateway to failure.”  Sounds familiar, but I swear on my 5, and hopefully just 5, children that I wrote that myself and didn’t read it anywhere else.

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THE QUOTE ON THE WALL FROM ONE OF MY STATIONS IN LIFE.

THE FUNNIEST STORY OF MY LIFE

BACK BY POPULAR DEMAND AND REQUEST FROM THE FALL OF 2011…

I know that sounds like a huge title to live up to, but I’m confident after you read this, you will agree with me. For purposes of this story and in an attempt to be a little less vulgar than some of you will no doubt find this entire story, I will be using the words poop or doody instead of the venacular sh## that I’d actually be more comfortable speaking, but will remain somewhat professional on the record. Oh YES, that is right. This is a doody bomb story, but not the kind you will at first think from the father of identical twin boys. Get ready. Stop reading here if your are easily offended. Send me an email if you are easily offended so I can make sure to stop being friends with you because there is nothing more that I can’t stand than someone who can’t laugh and laugh a lot. My bigger pet peeve is people that can’t take a joke.  That said, make sure you are not eating right now because this story will be graphic and visceral. Hold onto your seats friends.

Several weeks ago I took my twin 2 and 1/2 year old sons Jack and Luke to lunch by myself. We decided on Buffalo Wild Wings. OK OK, I decided on Buffalo Wild Wings. I’ve been on a diet for about 5 months, but it was a cheat day and there is nothing I like more than some spicy garlic all drummies. I should mention that over the course of the last 5 months I lost 60 pounds dieting and running quite a bit training for my first marathon coming up on January 15, 2012. I went from a bloated 245 pounds with a 42 inch waist at 5’11” tall to a lean 185 pounds comfortably in 34 inch pants at the same height. For those of you who don’t appreciate dead pan, that height remark was a joke. I am headed to a goal race weight of 175 pounds with a 32 inch waist and yes the same 5’11” tall. I digress to pat myself on the back which is a frequent favorite past time of mine.

Anyway, back to Luke, Jack, and myself at Buffalo Wild Wings. We sat ourselves in a booth in the back left corner of the restaurant with Jack to my left and Luke to my right all on the same side of the booth. Aftter looking over the menu, the boys decided they wanted popcorn shrimp with Spicy Garlic sauce as a dipping sauce, 8 naked chicken tenders with honey barbaque dipping sauce, 12 all drummy spicy garlic wings, two lemonades with lids and straws, and an ice water. The all drummy wings, wings that look like mini drum sticks, are the best way to order them because the other kind of wing with the two thin parallel bones suck. Yea, I’m that guys that if your sharing wings with will eat all the drummies and leave you with the crappy other ones.

The boys and I couldn’t wait to order and devour our meal. I couldn’t wait because all I had been eating was cucumbers, red peppers, and Subway sandwiches mostly and this was a real treat. They couldn’t wait because they like to eat all the time, but once they start eating they get distracted and only eat like two bites so they are always hungry. They have ADD when it comes to eating. It is like, “Give me food! Give me food!”, but once they have it there are like, “This food thing isn’t so great, let’s go spin ourselves in circles and say the word dizzy dizzy dizzy over and over instead.”

I could see the waitress from across the room headed on her way to take our order. She had a big smile on her face while looking at us no doubt because it was a dad and 2 identical twin boys all sitting together on the same bench. I like to think it is because I am so attractive, but I know it is really because Jack and Luke are about as cute as they come. I know all parents say that, but really, my kids are much better looking than all of your’s. I’m OK. I give me a 7 and on a good day after a work out, with the right clothes, and perfect hair an 8. With personality added in, they haven’t even invented the scale to measure my hotness yet. Trust me, I’m that charming. Just ask me.

Anyway the waitress was about 40 feet away headed our way when I let out what I thought was going to be a little baby fart. It was almost 2 pm and all I had consumed that day so far was a Venti Green Hot Tea from Starbucks. Green tea is good for the metabolism and I was trying to lose more weight. Now I know most of you know what a shart is. For those of you who don’t without using profanity (very important not to use profanity in “professional” writing and I’m very professional) a shart is the combination of fart and a little bit of pooping. It is when just a little bit of doody shoots out when you think it is all going to be just air. THIS WAS NOT A SHART! With the waitress closing in fast I accidentally completely full on with an entire liquidy load pooped my own pants! I don’t know what happened. It was as if I was sitting on a toilet intentionally trying to go to the bathroom. Nothing was spared. An entire bowel movement happened filling my back side. I immediately smelled it an felt it starting to seep through not only my underwear, but also my kakhi cargo shorts, $14.99 at Target, great deal! When the waitress arrive at the table just seconds after the doody bomb was dropped, she immediately smelled “IT” too. I just smirked and looked to my right and left non-verbally indicating that it must be one of my two cute twin boys. Not so cute now are they Miss Waitress? The irony is immediately not lost on me that there are 3 people sitting at this table, two of which are in diapers and only one of which has a load in his pants. Note to self: contact depends company for possible endorsement deal.

The waitress asked what we would like and I just as calmly and as normally as ever gave her our order. After saying that she’d go put the order in and walking away I distinictly remember thinking to myself, “This is the greatest thing ever!”. Now that might sound way messed up to you, but you are not me. I remember thinking that some overwhelming percentage of people on the planet like 99.99999999% would view this as a terrible thing to happen to them. Now I’m not saying I would chose to crap myself on purpose for sh##s and giggles (sorry, could resist the pun), but I did actually as an agnostic (one who know not whether there is or is not a God and choses not to ask the question, although I secretly hope there is, but my intellect is constantly at odds with that desire to have faith) raise my hands to the ceiling of the Buffalo Wild Wings and say quietly, “Thank you GOD for the funniest story of my life!”. Yes, my immediate reaction was in fact self effacing positive humor and elation as to the experience and knowing how many times I would no doubt relive this glory in my own head and regale others with like all of you right now.

Mean while the boys are starting to catch wind of things. Now neither one of them likes having their diaper changed which I really can’t understand. Speaking from the experience of having a load in my pants, I would want that doody out of my shorts ASAP where they would rather covertly hide the fact from you to avoid the dreaded diaper change. I mean they HATE having their diaper changed. They try to blame the each other all the time when I ask them if they have poop. Luke will go, ” No poop no poop! Jack poop!” when it is actually Luke who has the poop. The opposite happens as well where Jack tries to dime Luke out for his doody bombs. I can only imagine what they must have been thinking. Luke leaning in with me between them looking at Jack, “Jack that you?”. Jack looking at Luke, “Luke that you?”. Both of them looking up at me, ” Naaa, couldn’t be…”

Back to the battle field. So after the waitress left to put the order in I immediately noticed a table full of police officers sitting at the next table about 6 feet away. Now they couldn’t smell anything from that distance, but all of them men and women about 6 in total were grinning ear to ear looking back and forth between Luke, Jack, and myself. It was obvious to me they were just marveling at the cute identical twin boys sitting with their Dad happy as could be. What the police officers didn’t notice as they were staring all three of us directly in the eyes overwhelmed with the cuteness was that I was systematically shoving napkin after napkin down the back of both my underwear and short trying to sop up and absorb a much of the disaster as possible and pack my butt crack much like putting gauze into a wound to stop the bleeding. Only this wound was my butt and the blood was watery doody. These cops had no clue what I was doing right in front of them even while looking directly at each other an making eye contact with me because they were so taken with the twins. Thank goodness I had Jack and Luke’s cuteness to lay down cover for me in this fire fight.

I was left with the conundrum of what to do next. What course of action should I take? I’m sitting there as the lone adult with two 2 and a 1/2 year olds. I have a swim suit in the car for a play date we have with my friend’s two daughter at discovery green after lunch, but that is in the parking lot and I’ve already ordered. I can’t just leave the kids while I run out to the car. I can’t take the kids with me to the car because it will look like I’m running out an leaving after just having placed my order not to mention that the brown liquid has now completely sept through my shorts. I can tell by the traction I’m getting moving around on the pleather booth bench that the stain is substantial. I’m not about to ask one of the cops to watch my kids because I poopied my pants and need to go get reinforcements in my car.

I only had one choice. I phoned a friend. I called my buddy Rob who I was supposed to meet up with along with his daughters for our 3 pm play date. He answered the phone and said he was just getting the girls ready to meet us and asked if we were still on? I said yes, but that I was at Buffalo Wild Wings and having a crisis. This next part I find the funniest part of the entire story and it is completely non exaggerated truth. Without even pausing or missing a beat he said to me and I quote, “PLEASE TELL ME YOU SHIT YOURSELF!”. I’ll use the “S” word here since it is a direct quote. I was speechless which for anyone who knows me is only while I sleep. I was stunned and floored at the same time. How and why would he possibly make that exact request/question right away with no indication from me yet as to the crisis. After about 3 or 4 seconds of silence I said in a flat tone, “Actually Rob, that is exactly what I’ve done and in a big way.”. I could tell that he immediately pulled the phone away from his face a began to hysterically bellow gleefully exclaiming over and over, “Yes, yes, thank you, yes, yes, thank you!”. It was almost like he answered every phone call that way and finally hit the lottery. Now Rob is a very smart guy. The type of guy who doesn’t use adjectives like “very”. After getting over his good fortune and excitement. He came back to the phone and said without any instruction from me, “I understand. I’ll be there in 15 minutes with a bag with butt wipes and shorts.”. It was like he was the Navy Seal of I crapped my pants rescues which made me wonder if he too had some prior experience in this area, but that is only speculation.

So here I am at the table with Jack and Luke stuck waiting for our food to come as they happily doodle away with their crayons on the free coloring place mats without a care in the world. They certainly don’t seem very bothered by the fact that it smells like a toilet at the table. The food comes! I do what any of you would have done and don’t say you wouldn’t. I use 7 or 8 of those BW3 wet naps and clean my hands off as best I can. Although I never saw any brown on them from stuffing napkins down my pants, I’m assuming there might be some collateral damage or remanence. I then proceed to eat a complete finger food meal with my hands and a full load in my shorts. Ten minutes later after the table was cleared the bill came. I tipped extra. Darn kids diaper might have leaked onto the seat is what I thought the waitress would interpret it as after my retreat. Just as I was starting to get nervous about 5 minutes after signing the bill, Rob showed up. He was like my white knight! He totally played the whole situation so cool. He was like Damone in Fast Time at Ridgemont High dropping off the forgotten wallet to Mark who was on a first date with Jennifer Jason Lee’s character at the German restaurant. Rob sees us and is like, “Oh, hey Robert good to see you. Funny bumping into you and the boys like this.”. Totally cool. Totally Navy Seal of doody bomb clean up. I invited him to sit with us.

After he sat he covertly slid the bag of butt wipes and shorts he had concealed under the table to me. I asked him if he’d watch the kids as I excused myself for a tinkle. Tinkle, yeah right… He took care of Jack and Luke as I proceeded to my car to get my swim suit then back inside to the bathroom. I didn’t want to use his shorts. I just wouldn’t do that to a friend. Now picture this. I’m not going to just walk to the bathroom with a big brown stain on my butt for the whole world of chicken wing lovers to see, but I’m also not going to overtly cover my butt with a plastic bag as I run to the bathroom. I choose what must have looked like a slightly exaggerated pimp walk where the bags swayed from side to side behind me giving as much coverage as possible while actually most likely being construed as a weirdo trying to walk like he was a rapper on stage or something along those lines. Once safely inside the men’s room and in a secure locked stall (I was lucky the lone stall was not occupied), I took both my shorts and underwear off and threw them directly into the trash never to be seen or in this case smelled from again. I cleaned up thoroughly with butt wipes. These are the same type of butt wipes I used earlier and later that same day on my sons only my boys are 2 and should be having them used on them. I threw my swim trunks on, washed my hands like I’ve never washed them before, grabbed the kids and Rob, and high tailed it out of there.

The second I got to the car after securing Jack and Luke into their car seats, I immediately called my 3 best friends who live in the Washington D.C. Area, the New York City area, and the Milwaukee area to brag and share this good fortune. To a person they all had the same reaction. “I’m not sure what makes you more deranged, that you allowed this to happen or that you are instantly calling me to brag like you’ve achieved something great. This is the funniest story of my life to date! What is your’s?

PHOTO TAKEN FROM AROUND THE TIME THIS STORY HAPPENED IRONICALLY

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J&L PLAYING WITH ROB’S (WHO CAME TO MY RESCUE) DAUGHTER LATER THAT DAY

ATTN GAME OPS DIRECTORS: REINVENT & REINVIGORATE YOUR SHOW

Greeting all!  For those of you in season right now, I hope your shows are going well with lots of entertainment and as little hiccups as possible.  For those of you not in season, rest up!  It is coming whether we want it to or not;)  I am fresh off a consulting engagement for the NBA’s Oklahoma City Thunder Game Entertainment & Operations Department last week.  Please see Director John Leach’s Complete Assessment at the bottom of this blog/post/advertisement/whatever:)

Like you, I enjoy and have a passion for entertaining people.  There is nothing more euphoric than the feeling of hearing an audience’s positive reaction to entertainment you conceived, created, nurtured, refined, at times fought for, produced, rehearsed, directed & executed!  I can’t do this better than you.  You are where you are for a reason.  I have never called a game in 25 years in the business, however, I have value to offer you.  I offer a fresh critique and tutorial on consistent animation, exaggeration, and persona for your mascot.  A mascot should be a larger than life, real life cartoon character.  Before viral videos, before killer skits, and before tons of paid appearances, there has to be an established character base, not just dance or gymnast skills.

I have created, coached, and managed entertainment teams as well as trained hundreds of mascots.  I have lived this profession as not only a mascot, but also as a sports entertainment idea leader.  I have done this by consistent innovation, networking, sharing, and pushing for the fan experience. Examples as first of mine in pro sports include: inflatable mascots, giant ball walking, noise prompt banners that disappear within each other, mascot bowling, writing & producing mascot books with over ½ million distributed, running ½ marathons in costume for charity & social media strategies that led to an unparalleled 150K following where most professional mascots have only 10K.

I’d like the opportunity to share with you and provide a different perspective and possibly a way for you to break your own company’s norms that have been possibly holding you and them back.  Most of us know each other. I invite you to email me to start a discussion of what I can offer you specifically at Robert@RoberBoudwin.com.  My cell is 832-541-3865.  Thanks in advance for your time and consideration, and for many of you, your camaraderie.

Some of the companies I have presented to and consulted for most recently include: OKC THUNDER, NCAA, NBA ASIA, Exxon, Sam Houston Race Park, Deliotte, Memorial Hermann Hospital, Methodist Hospital, The Clifford Group, Chick-Fil-A, Menchies & Houston Area Chamber of Commerce. (see testimonials page for full list)

 

“I’ve known Robert professionally for 20 years as a performer. However, what he did as a consultant and speaker in just a few days was reinvigorating and transformative not only for myself, our entertainers, and staff, but for our entire show. I highly recommend him!” -John Leach, Oklahoma City Thunder, Director of Game Presentation

“Robert has an uncanny ability to connect and communicate to the masses or personally one on one in a way that motivates. He has personally inspired me at times in my life. He is an instinctive marketer and brand builder who gets stuff done and delivers results.”       -Andrea Young, Sam Houston Race Park COO

“Robert’s sustained excellence, passion and creativity as a brand builder and performer are unsurpassed in Houston sports over the last two decades.”  -George Postolos, Owner Postolos Group/Former Houston Astros CEO/Former Houston Rockets CEO

“Clutch became one of Houston’s most beloved brands because of Robert’s brilliant creativity, energy and vision. His ideas and inspiration are infectious.”  -Cathy Lopez-Negrete, Owner, COO & CFO of Lopez-Negrete Advertising

“Creative, passionate, energetic, intelligent…all words which strongly describe somebody you want on your team. All of these describe Robert very well. And just as importantly, he’s just a good guy with a great heart.” -John Dillon, SVP, CMO at Denny’s Corporation

“The Harris County Sports Authority has had the privilege of working with Robert Boudwin on many occasions for a variety of events. He is extremely professional, dependable, and creative when partnering with us. He truly understands what is means to integrate branding throughout an entire program, and he’s also a captivating speaker when asked to fill that role for one of our events.” -Janis Schmees Burke, President & CEO of the Harris County Sport Authority

“From firing up 20,000 people in a sports arena, to touching hearts one-to-one, Robert connects with people in a lasting way. He can help create this same connection between your audience & your brand. Inspiring. Original. Relentless as a full sworn enemy of the ordinary, Robert will net you results in a way no one else can.” -Jim “Wegs” Wegerbauer, Chief Idea Officer of Dieste, an Omnicom Company

“Robert took an idea and brought it to life (literally), creating a beloved, iconic character and brand, resulting in tremendous value for the Rockets. He can apply that same creativity and marketing insight to build value for your business!” -Michael Burch, Sr. Vice President, National Sales and Marketing, Speedway Motorsports, Inc.

Authentically,

Robert Boudwin          832-541-3865          robert@robertboudwin.com

 

2/15/17–FROM NBA’S OKC THUNDER DIRECTOR OF GAME ENTERTAINMENT TO ALL NBA GAME ENTERTAINMENT DIRECTORS:

Good Afternoon Everyone!

Robert Boudwin, formerly Clutch for the Houston Rockets, is a 20+ year veteran entertaining crowds.  I know Robert well and know how much he puts into his craft, so when he retired and opened his consulting company, I couldn’t wait to get him to OKC in front of our game night staff to share his knowledge.

Robert is not only a top professional in costume, but he’s also very talented performer out of costume.  We were able to work out a schedule that spanned over 2 games, and one rather large annual event.  Night one was our Mascot Mania game, followed by our signature “Breakfast with Rumble” event the following morning, and the last was a Sunday game that we gear towards families.  Robert was able to come in and evaluate the performances of the mascots, our interactive crew and our overall presentation for all three events.  We spent a better part of the following Monday going over is feedback and other observations.  He also worked with our mascot sharing engagement techniques and other tricks of the trade.  In addition, we held a 2 hour meeting with our interactive groups, where Robert shared valuable insight on connecting with the fans.  Ways to win them over as they enter, only to have a much better connection with them as they cheer on the team from their seats for the remainder of the game.  Our group was energized following his visit as they had new tools to work with for games and events.

I’m sending this to you to let you know how affective his visit was for our mascot and entertainment groups.  Robert knows how to bring a costume to life and has an incredible way of getting the attention of fans.  This is a great tool to have for anyone who is responsible for making sure the fans are enjoying their experience.  I highly recommend Robert Boudwin and hope you’ll consider his services when looking for ways to better your mascot or interactive teams.

THE MOST INSPIRING, EMOTIONALLY MOVING, SELFLESS & JUST PLAIN INCREDIBLE STORY I HAVE EVER HEARD! HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY!!!

THIS IS WORTH THE READ & MIGHT CHANGE YOUR LIFE!

janis-and-dad

I know some of you have seen a few of these pictures posted by me before, however there has been a new development.  As many of you know, my father Paul received a double lung transplant 5 years ago as of tomorrow and is still in good health due to to the forward selfless thinking of his donor Ian Heidemann (pictured twice) who tragically passed away at age 22 5 years ago today Valentine’s Day.  These 2 days have aways been bitter sweet for my family as we celebrate my Dad ‘s 2nd chance at life, but simultaneously morn the Heidemann Family’s loss and Ian’s passing.  My wife and I dedicated a portion of our wedding 2 years ago on Valentine’s Day to speaking about and remembering Ian & his gifts which saved & enhanced 6 lives and also gave Donate Life Bracelets & Calendars to all wedding guests.

HERE IS THE MOST AMAZING THING!!!  Ian’s Heart recipient is now also in need of a kidney transplant & Janis Burns Heidemann who is listening to her son’s lungs inhale & exhale inside of my father’s chest has volunteered her kidney to the same person who received her son’s heart and she goes through the final round of blood testing TODAY to see if she is a match.  Again, this TODAY is the 5th anniversary of her son’s passing and his life saving gifts. LET IT SINK IN.  The Heiedemann Family new none of us before their son’s sudden and tragic accident when he passed.  If things go through, the heart recipient will be given another chance and gift of continued life from two separate members of the same family this 2nd time through living donation!!!  UREAL INSPIRATION IS ALL AROUND US DAILY, BUT THIS ACT OF KINDNESS & SELFLESSNESS LEFT ME TRULY SPEECHLESS YESTERDAY & IS AT A WHOLE OTHER LEVEL!  HAPPY Valentine’s Day Ian!  You are missed, but not forgotten and I didn’t even know you personally, but your legacy LIVES ON in so many!!!  HEIDEMANN’S, GOD BLESS YOU ALL!!!

Register to be an Offical Organ Donor TODAY at donatelifeamerica.com

ian

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first-rodeo-pin
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WHO:  A First Rodeo Pin is for anyone starting a new job or changing positions in a white collar environment whether 22 or 62, whether female or male, whether entry level or owner. This is the professional, but funny, silly, but clever, subtle, but remarkable, understated, but memorable ice breaker you have been looking for.

HOW:  Simply wear the pin on your lapel or other business attire for the first month or so while starting a new role and let colleagues notice on their own without going out of your way to draw attention to it. This wry & dry delivery will get the chuckle your are looking for that makes you seem approachable so you can start to build strong lasting relationships. You never get a 2nd chance to make a first impression! MAKE YOUR’S COUNT WITH A FIRST RODEO LAPEL PIN!

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MUMBLINGS AND MUSINGS…

True wisdom is usually only expressed by the aged and not how you might think…

Let me explain my perspective.  What is the difference between knowledge and wisdom?  Knowledge is acquired by an interest expressed and invested in combined with an aptitude to understand and retain.  Wisdom is usually an expression acquired from experience having to make tough decisions between no clear right or wrong, but only “gut” or “hunches” based upon some knowledge, prior personal failure, and a balance between drive and empathy.  Intelligence is not always and in many cases not a component of wisdom.  A base line of intelligence is usually present in wisdom when it comes to fruition.  By the way, use of lexicon like fruition is not necessarily an indication of wisdom, but more evidence of knowledge.  Thinking for yourself in a unique way with creativity while balancing the self with the greater good for others is a pretty good definition in my mind which brings me back to the original statement.

Some refer to this as the difference of IQ verses EQ. Or intellectual intelligence verses emotional intelligence.  I have found in practice that these combinations at a high level of IQ or aptitude combined with EQ or social skills mixed with disciplined timing of restrained action mixed with an ability to let go of your principles when a favorable end is not in sight is very rare or actually truly non-existent in humanity.  When thinking about wisdom I am reminded of the classic Native American Chief who is quiet mostly and speaks seldom, but when does is listen to attentively and usually delivers a sage message of restraint or diplomacy.  He or she often preaches restraint and is often correct.  However, even in old age we are all still human and have self-interest.  What would those motives be in that case?  Personal legacy and preservation of the ones he or she loves would be the most common factors.  However, these were the same men and women that had to risk along the way to make it to a point of wide relevance beyond just their immediate family at an old age.  Be too risky and you don’t make it to that age.  In years past you simply would not be alive because you were killed for too daring of ventures.  In today’s America, you simply become irrelevant which is a sentence worse than death for some.  “Brave soldiers don’t make old soldiers.”  Be too safe and you will never get consistently listened to if you just say no all the time and run scared.  You have to say yes to something or some path if you want people to continue on and for you personally to be listened to. It is not enough to know what you don’t like.  You must also know what you do like and be able to explain it.

In closing, altruism does not exist because even at its truest forms, it makes the doer feel good unless you are sociopath who is not rich and doesn’t want to be remembered. That is a joke for you Nerds:)  Even an old, sage, experienced, balanced leader is clouded at times by their own perspective.  I once wrote when I was young that although I’ve heard balance in the key to life and happiness, imbalance was the key to greatness because to be great you must be significantly abnormal and unbalanced as the masses are normal and balance.  That is what makes you stand out!  Was I wrong then or now?  MUMBLINGS AND MUSINGS…

Speech from 1/26/17 to North Shore Rotary Club

I give a motivational & inspirational speech entitled: Speed Bumps, Potholes & Head-On Collisions: Overcoming the Detours Down the Glorious Road Less Travel; Robert Boudwin & His Life as an NBA Mascot.

Just some of the companies I have presented to include:  NCAA, Exxon, Sam Houston Race Park, Baker Botts, Deliotte, Williams, Anadarko, Memorial Hermann Hospital, Methodist Hospital, The Clifford Group, Houston Area Chambers of Commerce, Chick-Fil-A, Taste of Texas Restaurant, Rice University, United Way of Greater Houston, Houston Rotary Clubs, Life Gift, Taylor’s Gift, Nora’s Home & The American Diabetes Association, Pro Dance Conference, DECA Groups & Houston area High Schools.

Email me at robert@robertboudwin.com for scheduling and pricing.

 

The presentations are perfect for company meetings, organizational retreats, conferences, special events, churches, and any occasion calling for a key-note speaker. It is an entertaining, emotionally inspiring, motivating, engagingly interactive & comical story of perseverance, persistence & fortitude along a non-traditional career route while building one of the nation’s biggest mascot brands and a world wide entertainer.

Success happened by passionately focusing on creating memorable & remarkable moments one laugh at a time. This happened against all odds at the beginning, middle & end of the mascot journey by never giving up and truly over delivering to the customer at every opportunity turning them into a valuable volunteer sales force driving appearance revenues to 4 times that of the average professional mascot & 25 times that from personal year one to peek.  Your employees or members will be left entertained & motivated to achieve their personal best by focusing on how to create special moments for costumers in turn transforming those customers into raving fans and your word of mouth sales and marketing force!  Word of mouth marketing is the most valuable form of advertising in the world because it is the most creditable form because it comes from unbiased individuals who are not financially incentivized to do so.