BUY BOOK

Chapter 1:     Humped By Jack Nicholson

Chapter 2:     What does a professional mascot do and what is it like to be one?

Chapter 3:     Who Wants A Free T-shirt?  OOPS!!!

Chapter 4:     Promoted To Middle Brother & The Lottery

Chapter 5:     How Do You Get From Good To Great?

Chapter 6:     I Need A Hero!

Chapter 7:     The Funniest Story Of My Life!

Chapter 8:     Punched In The Face By Mark Cuban

Chapter 9:     No Home For Bullies & Mob Boss Dad

Chapter 10:   A Few Random Thoughts On Leadership

Chapter 11:   The Craziest Half Hour Of My Life

Chapter 12:   Rebounding From Trauma & 10 Reasons Why I Love Running

Chapter 13:   My Philosophy On Life…

Chapter 14:   Post Game “Hugs”

Chapter 15:   Dad Saved My Life

Chapter 16:   I’m Not Cleaning That Up!

Chapter 17:   Ruined A MLK Day Parade

Chapter 18:   My Favorite Hospital Procedure Ever!

Chapter 19:   Only Time Shoplifting

Chapter 20:   Naked DodgeBall & Submission PaintBall

Chapter 21:   Un Tiempo Salvaje En México

Chapter 22:   The WNBA Was Exciting, Loud Communal & “Frisky”

Chapter 23:   MORE SHIT!

Chapter 24:   Online Dating & My 16 Ds Of Sex

Chapter 25:   The Worst Phone Call I’ve Ever Had To Make

Chapter 26:   Tattoos – My dumbest tattoo

Chapter 27:   Tattoos – Personal

Chapter 28:   Tattoos – Philosophical & Inspirational Quotes

Chapter 29:   Tattoos – Silly, Funny & Stupid

Chapter 30:   Radical Dadding

Chapter 31:   I Used To Get Erect Just Walking Into The Hospital Elevator

Chapter 32:   I Was Sexually Harassed Before HR & ME TOO

Chapter 33:   Accepting an Award Feels Awkward & Creepy

Chapter 34:   Accidentally Married the Same Woman a 2nd Time

Chapter 35:   Past times Aren’t Worth Doing Unless Overdone

Chapter 36:   Not All Pro Sports Leagues Are Professional

Chapter 37:   The Road Goes On Forever And The Party Never Ends

Chapter 38:   America & God

Chapter 39:   WOW!  Did that really happen???

Chapter 40:   Edutainment

Chapter 41:   Burying Eric

Chapter 42:   A Fear Worse Than Death

Chapter 43:   Cheers!

Chapter 44:   All Around The World

Chapter 45:   The Gay Bar

Chapter 46:   Life Long Adult Weight Fluctuation & Running/Suffering for a Cause

Chapter 47:   Funny Guy

Chapter 48:   Thrown In Jail In A Foreign Country

Chapter 49:   Get In The Ring!  Ding!  Ding!  Ding!

Chapter 50:   School Teachers Who Changed My Life And Are Still In My Life                   

Epilog:             Lessons Learned

Acknowledgements:            That means “thank you’s”

Bonus: ???

“Yo Robert –

I loved the book! I read the whole thing (no cherry-picking chapters for me…) in one weekend. You’re an animal – and I say that with the utmost respect! I certainly could relate to a lot of the mascot stories in the book – straddling the line of edginess and G-rated family entertainment, living for the laugh, fun school appearances, stuff that goes wrong, etc. You were a creative force as Clutch, making that character fun, unpredictable and an exciting part of Houston Rocket games.

The best part about the book is that you let it fly and didn’t hold back – although I’m sure the stories you DIDN’T tell could fill another 10 books! There is nothing phony – you are as authentic in your book as you are in real life (which is a scary – and FUN – thought!)

I have a friend I’ve worked with for 30 years at the Phillies whose motto is to always put yourself in a position to be able to tell a story about it. That certainly applies to your life story! I laughed out loud at some of your (mis) adventures, including the awkwardness of donating your “lifesource” at the fertility clinic and your little accident in your pants at Buffalo Wild Wings. That’s a story you may want to eliminate from your corporate keynote!

And by the way – let me know if you ever open Shorties. I’d go to that bar!”

Tom Burgoyne – Author — Keynote Speaker — The Phillie Phanatic (1993-Present)

“I know you wrote your book wasn’t written with the intention of teaching business and life success—but after reading it, that’s one thing that it for sure delivers. At least that was one of my take aways. Through your outrageous risks, unconventional choices, and wild circumstances, it reveals how those moments shaped your life and led to success. The challenge is that this book is so many things—part memoir, part masterclass, part pure crazy entertainment—but at its core, it’s a look at the craziest risks that you have taken with your “crazy Conna lifestyle”, it shows what you learned, and how those lessons changed the trajectory of your life. Here’s an angle to consider for the audience: Ask them, ‘What’s the craziest risk you’ve ever taken, and what did you learn from it? How did it change your life?’ This book shares your’s in raw, unfiltered detail, showing how those moments manifested.

It’s not easy to simplify this crazy shit but maybe that’s the point—it’s layered, it’s entertaining, and above all, it’s real. Amazing work, bro. One thing is for sure this is a fun read. I have been laughing out loud on my plane rides like I told you.”

–Zoltan Berencsi – Senior Producer Harlem Globetrotters & Herschend Studios

BOOK TESTIMONIALS

“Robert Boudwin’s life is a testament to the magic of blending heart, humor, and hustle—and I had the privilege of witnessing it firsthand during his years as Clutch the Bear. Whether making Rockets fans laugh till they cried or tackling life’s challenges with grit and grace, Robert embodies the rare combination of creativity and determination. My analytics confirm that Clutch always delivered for the fans, and Robert delivers once again with this captivating read.”

-Daryl Morey (Former Houston Rockets GM 2006-2020, Philadelphia 76ers President 2020-Present)

“I’ve known Robert’s work as Clutch for decades & him personally for over 10 years.  His writing is as gripping as he was funny as Clutch.”

-Owen Conflenti (NBC’s KPRC Houston’s Channel 2 Morning News Anchor)

“I’ve had the fortune of having some pretty impressive leaders on my teams in my career & I count Robert as one of those. Is he unconventional? Yes. Is he eclectic? Definitely. But at his core, he has a heart of gold, an insane amount of energy & is able to combine his passion, creativity & work ethic with the gift of being a master storyteller. And all that now captured in book form? We are all in for one unbelievably entertaining read.”
-John Dillon (Former Denny’s Worldwide President & Former Houston Rockets CMO)

“I had a seat front and center to see Robert’s performance as Clutch for over 20 years.  His book is surprisingly even more interesting than his skits and comedy even were.  He was one of the best!”

-Bill Worrell (Houston Rockets TV Announcer 41 years & Houston Astros 19 years)

“I worked in a literal arena with Robert, entertaining Houston Rockets fans, and have witnessed his persistent devotion to getting it right with every interaction he had with the audience he was serving. His audience being 15-20,000 basketball fans or 1000 conference attendees or 20 professional mascots or 2 sets of twins. Oftentimes, a successful “performance” boils down to relentless attention to detail, and too many of us stop too soon and settle for the giggle or the applause. Robert consistently goes above and beyond to create work designed to move people to LMAO standing ovations, and the root of this is his deep caring about making the world a better place. He understands that he is a citizen agent of change and, like each of us, can indeed make a difference.

I am glad that I share this country and this planet with Robert who lives his life as a man who is actually in the arena, who strives valiantly, who spends himself in worthy causes and, who has experienced high achievement and come up short while daring greatly.

If we could all be so committed, a better republic and a better world we’d be. I want that better world, and Robert’s stories are examples of the challenges and the fruits of that pursuit. His shitnanigans (not a typo), dadventures, and hacks of kindness will not only entertain, humor, and possibly shock you, but they will also serve as kindling to light the flame under us all to dare greatly in the arenas we are actually in, and have fun while doing so.”

-Jerry L. Burrell (Formerly TURBO, Houston Rockets Mascot 1993-2002)

“My furternity brother, Robert Boudwin (aka. Clutch the Bear) is a very unique, interesting and highly entertaining guy. His book is no different.  If you are looking for an inspiring & humorous peak at the man behind the mask, this book is for you.  I highly recommend it.  It reminded me of something I already knew, Clutch’s heart is as big as his head.”

-Dan Meers (ONLY Kansas City Chiefs Mascot KC Wolf for 35 years, Author, & Keynote Speaker)

“I’ve known Robert for over 30 years as a peer mascot performer & business partner at times.  What I didn’t know was his ability to write! An amazing storyteller, but he transformed that skill to write this book! I only put the book down to catch my breath.”

-David Raymond (OG Phillie Phanatic, Author, Mascot Expert & Keynote Speaker)

“Throughout my career as an NBA mascot, I had the privilege of watching Robert play an integral role in the golden years of sports entertainment. In the process, he became a revered figure. Robert brought a completely unique spin to Clutch, and his unwavering dedication has left a lasting impact on fans worldwide. Although Robert and I rarely saw eye to eye, whether professionally or personally, one thing we always agreed upon was the importance of storytelling. Everyone knows there are two sides to every story, and I can’t wait to read his.”

-Bob Woolf, Phoenix Suns Gorilla, 1988-2021

“Robert…from a mascot point of view, is one of the most out there, creative thinking minds in the business.  I can’t wait to read the rest of his book in its entirety.   When it comes to Robert, I’m always on the edge of my seat.”

-Kenn Solomon (OG Denver Nuggets SUPER Mascot Rocky 33 years)

Have you ever had an experience that you thought if someone wrote a book about this no one would believe it. This is the book! And I wouldn’t believe most of these stories if I hadn’t been there myself for many of them. When you see that crazy Mascot and think I bet that guy would be fun to hang out, that is Robert and this book tells the story behind the story. 

When I look back at my own professional Mascot career, Robert is one of the first guys I think about that helped me accomplish so much. 

-Pastor Marc Taylor (former OKC Thunder Mascot Rumble & Sonics Squatch)

“Robert has been a friend of mine for over 25 years. He is one of the best entertainers I’ve ever performed with & truly a unique light in this world! He wears his heart & thoughts on his body, literally in the form of tattoos. After reading this book I’m certain you will come away seeing the world slightly different.”

-Curtis Dvorak (OG Jacksonville Jaguars Mascot Jaxson de Ville)

“For the better part of my 25 year as career as the Utah Jazz Bear I felt like there was one other NBA Mascot who helped lead the performers in the NBA both in & out of costume as a thought leader, organizer & motivator & that was Robert Boudwin & his alter ego Clutch the Bear. I can’t wait to read the rest of his WILD journey & you will too!”

-Jon Absey (OG Utah Jazz Bear for 25 years)

“This is the BEST book in the history of books!”

-Donna Boudwin (Robert’s Mommy)

“This sucks, is absolute garbage and anything written in it about me is a lie I will sue him over.”

-Paul F. Boudwin (Robert’s Loving Father)

“I had so much fun at his parties in a way I’m not willing to admit.”

-Anonymous

FORWARDS BY: Patrick Hunnicutt, James “WEGS” Wegerbauer & Scott Hesington